Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Slash That! (Foreword)

Holla.

If, by any chance, you were redirected here, this is the foreword.
There are things that irk me. I'll talk about those here.
These are no 1-minute-old plankton topics. Also, make sure not to take anything against yourself because I'll put the freedom of expression card on the table otherwise.
Don't forget that these are my views on stuff around the world.

Friday, December 4, 2009

20 Things I Am Thankful For (Dec. 4th, 09)

Here, I write reasons for me to hope for a better tomorrow in my life. It's also a way, for me, to thank God for whatever fact there is.
This is a recurring topic. I find 20 things to be thankful for.

I am thankful for:
  1. The fact that I don't have to hold myself anymore while interacting. It was a major constraint in my life to do something that people would not identify as uncalled for.
  2. Making the difference between selfishness and taking care of oneself. It allows you to live your own life while aiding other people live theirs.
  3. Being able to think. Just that. It gives me the ability to progress.
  4. Being able to carry my own torch, regardless of people's thoughts.
  5. Being able to distinguish the difference between an ara and a swan. Blind people can't do that.
  6. Being able to dream and still keep on dreaming like there's no tomorrow.
  7. Being able to walk and, even, to try to find a good pair of shoes that fits! Man, some people just have no feet...
  8. The fact that God made me exist. I could have been nothingness, but I am human after all.
  9. The fact that nobody is expecting me to achieve my destiny or supporting me towards that direction. It will only make it sweeter when I reach that point of my life when I say: "I'm successful."
  10. Going through trials by fire since the age of... Well, my existence is a trial by fire. It makes me stronger, yet weaker. Steady, yet fragile. Tough, yet emotionally hypersensitive.
  11. Having the possibility to lead my very own life and draw my own path. Now ain't that a great thing?
  12. Having no ideals to look up to. I look up to what I can potentially be if I keep on working my ass off and that is enough.
  13. Being able to say that this strange song is the song of the day - Some people in the world would consider that a futile thing to do, simply because of the (hard) living conditions:





    The Prodigy - Take Me To The Hospital (Subfocus Remix)

  14. Being able to step back from turmoil, thus pulling myself out of it. You gain the ability to assess yourself.
  15. Feeling blank! Better than sadness. Somewhat, when you get accustomed to sadness, when that one is away, you really feel relieved.
  16. Going through poverty. It helps you live off the minimum while doing a maximum. If I ever go bankrupt, I know how to stand back.
  17. Being able to breathe normally and to exercise, as well as know the sensations of it. Some people just can't afford that.
  18. Having people to rely on in times of crisis. You only know your true friends when going through all of that.
  19. Having clothes to put on myself and to shield me from the cold... and having spare on top of that!
  20. Being able to turn on the light during night without having to light a fire beforehand or spending any more effort than a finger pressure. The people of Old would have been most envious.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

20 Things I Am Thankful For (Nov. 26th, 09)

Here, I write reasons for me to hope for a better tomorrow in my life. It's also a way, for me, to thank God for whatever fact there is.
This is a recurring topic. I find 20 things to be thankful for.

I am thankful for:
  1. The fact that God let me the opportunity to live one more day, giving me the ability to dream and hope. I can, at least, act towards my goals, redefine objectives and move towards the dream.
  2. The memories I have from childhood, be them good or bad. They built me and destroyed me, but let me know where I belong to.
  3. The fact that miracles exist. It gives me the hope of having, someday, a big miracle in my life.
  4. The fact that I can see God's artwork in the sky, and those beautiful shades he makes right in front of our eyes. I can see a lake reflecting all the lights around, spontaneously designing the best artwork of the minute. All of that, without paying anything for it.
  5. The fact that I can taste all the food and even favor one meal over another. This is a great luxury, to be able to choose what you eat according to your taste.
  6. The fact that I can hear this beautiful track.




    UNKLE - The Piano Echoes
  7. The fact that I can touch the keys on my keyboard, knowing for sure that I am typing.
  8. The fact that I can smell the odour of jasminn lay back and feel at ease, all of a sudden.
  9. The fact that I can write in an innate manner, using an understandable language. Cave men would be envious.
  10. The fact that I can be called a cook by simply knowing a recipe.
  11. The fact that people around me radiate with hope, that they are looking forward to something in their life.
  12. The fact that I can rest, by sleeping.
  13. The fact that I can do physical activities, because God decided not to make my bones go "snap" or any other misfortune.
  14. The fact that I can breathe. The refreshening feeling it brings to my lungs.
  15. Being able to speak about my dreams; just being able to dream. Also, of being able to beg God to make my dreams true, while moving towards that direction.
  16. The existence of sillyness, which can heal even the deepest wounds.
  17. Having met an old lady who asked me the right questions, at the right time.
  18. The fact that I can daydream; at peace, on top of that. A mind is a great thing to have.
  19. Having met a lost lady acquaintance of mine yesterday. The talk was heartwarming. I am also thankful for asking her number despite showing obvious signs of shyness.
  20. The fact that I can type these words. I have a computer for that, and some readers who would take a look at it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Do You Have A Life? ("Motor... Action!")

- Foreword -

People talk about many things: Topics can vary according to their interests, their tastes, their lifestyle and their environment. At times, I can just enter in the conversation and add to it, but at times... I think you know the feeling. When two of your friends talk about Mensa topics, you just doze off and go "What the f*bleep*k!". You know what? In my case, I've never been exposed to Mensa conversations (at least, none of my friends ever went on a long speech about quantum physics and enjoyed it, thank God - that'd have given me a headache). However, even non-Mensa people have their own Mensa-like topics, where they reach expertise. You just stand there (or sit or lie like a larvae) and listen, or just doze off (in other terms, daydream).

The topic I just happen to go larvae mode when I hear people speaking about it seems to be a familiar topic, really. At least, it is to 99,9999% of the people I know.

Movies: Mensa-caliber in 100 years

I thought that it was limited to the people I am acquainted to, who, for some, happen to be movie freaks. However, when you see that most people would have, in their culture, movie quotes... There's something strange. It either means that movies are turning to be the next Mensa topic (see that in a hundred years) on which case everyone would be looking at movie appreciators with a "wtf" expression by then. However, right now, I'm sure I'm not the only "non-movie-Mensa" Homo Sapien, but I'm sure I'm a "movie-retard". Definitely. I'm not dead though.

It would look as though I don't get a life. I've only been twice to the movies, because I paid none of it. As for watching movies, it is not my main life concern right now. It looks like I live in an alternate reality, though, as everyone is found buzzing on the new movie of the moment rather than pondering any other existential issue.

I also notice that when you don't know about movies "everyone is supposed to know about", people look at you like you're lifted. My movie repertoire is so limited that... it's almost nil. I can only recall blurs of any movie I watched (I don't give a damn to titles or people who make them).

An inquiring mind's question of the day

What is so special about movies that make people think it is a must-do to watch movies regularly? What is so vital about it?

If you have a reply in mind, please comment!

P.S: Momentum break

When I see family-friendly TV games that are supposedly all about knowledge asking for movie quotes, I start to wonder about how TV could affect people's perception of reality if they watch it too much. Oh... Let's bring the man named Michael Franti (back in his Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy days) in the place, should be better.






Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy - Television, The Drug of the Nation

Take your time at listening what's said there, it pretty much hovers on my opinion on TV.
"Does it imitate us? Or do we imitate it?" It's a known fact that it's the latter, M. Franti.

Do You Have A Life? (Foreword)

When it comes to life, I can say that... I do not fall into the "normal person" category; thou shalt rejoice though, I'm human and well aware of it. The matter is, there are things that almost all humanity did at least once in a lifetime that I never did, regardless of culture. Some stuff that is supposed to be possible to do by everyone, I can't (or am not aware of - not plugged up to it).

Keep in mind that while the topics could treat of a daily matter, it doesn't make me unconscious to what's going on around me. You know, I happen to think differently as well...

In case I link you to this post, know that the post you're going to (or are already on the process of) read(ing) revolves around one of the aforementioned matters.

Have fun reading!

A Talk Between Old Friends (1st Edition)

At least I've got to start blogging with a fun note, really. Like... really! *sarcasm - or not*

Welcome fellows~ Glad to see everyone has landed an eye on this. You are about to read a foolosophical rant right now. It doesn't have much of a structure.

Long time no see!

A long time friend of mine and I have talked via an internet messaging platform today. It had been a long time since I've heard of her and the last memories I keep are 3 years old: they go back to high school. When you talk to that sort of person, they seem to talk to the you they have been acquainted to; what I mean is that the impression you leave on people doesn't change no matter how you evolve when people don't witness your change on a daily basis.

This said, despite being conscious of the fact that she surely changed since last time I have actually met her in person, I was still talking to the old her. As the conversation went on (revolving about the thin line between soccer and politics, old high school days) we finally reached the point when we were updating each other about our daily situation.

It was rather funny to notice that the first thing that was put on the discussion was my private life: Deep within, people don't drastically change, do they? Regardless, her curiosity led her to ask me the common "private life" question. The way she asked it was rather... straight to the point.

Are you still single?

Am I supposed to be something else than single? Maybe, maybe not. At least, this is how I reacted on the moment. "Yes, I am still single, hassle-free, even at 20 years old~".

  • Her: It is strange! All those that I know, who went overseas, are already settled!
  • Me: I don't see myself settled any soon. *pause* Wait, what do you mean by "settled"? Do you mean "married" or "with a girlfriend"?
  • Her: With a girlfriend.
  • Me: Good. I thought you meant that as well, just making sure.

In my vocabulary, "settled" means... married. I don't see how settled someone can be when they just have a girlfriend. My take on that is: that sort of relationship can be broken from day to day when things go bad. Regardless of the vocabulary adjustment that already depicts my mindstate, the conversation would resume.

  • Me: She gotta be worth it in order to be my girlfriend.
  • Her: When will you find her? When you'll have white hair?
  • Me: If I get to that point, that would mean that my priorities would have been my career and my relationship with God (religion).
  • Her: Yep, you're 20 and still single. It means it all!
  • Me: First reason is, I purposely don't put myself forward to the ladies, mostly because I don't want to get on God's bad side.
  • Her: And you think I'm gonna believe that it's what explains the fact that you have no girlfriend...
  • Me: I am wary of women in general. If, by any occurence, I am not wary of a woman, it means that she's taken or that I'm sure at almost 100% that it wouldn't last long. The fact is, I look for long-term commitment in relationships.
To that, she agreed. But the line she put afterwards was rather... troubling.

You know, I don't imagine you with a girl.

Come on now! Wasn't it enough that I was troubled about that fact that you bring a dagger? (irony inside)
  • Me: What a predicament you're making here...
  • Her: Not to that point!
  • Me: Or you might mean "I don't imagine you with a girl in an immediate future"
  • Her: But from what I know of you...
Okay, sorry my neighbors. It's 2 AM but I gotta bust a huge laughter there. Heyyy~
  • Me: Can you please continue the sentence?
  • Her: Since I've met you, up until now, I just... can't imagine you in a relationship with a girl.
  • Me: *a laughter after* What does let you think that?
  • Her: *a huge moment of silence later* I don't know!
'Scuse me neighbors, again. Now where is this heading?! I'm like... anticipating way too much! But then, I make that wild guess. Not so wild, anyway... you know, that kind of guess that you know is the right answer but don't dare putting in front because you don't want to think the other person is thinking that way -rather, you dread the fact that the other person thinks that way- yet...
  • Me: Oh mine... What a sharp feminine intuition! *sarcasm intended... rather, dreading the fact that she wouldn't reply sarcastically*
You know, but you don't want to believe it.
  • Her: That's my point of view anyway.
Oh! Don't tell me that- (whoops, dig-a-ding~) And then, here comes Debbie Downer.
  • Her: Thank you!
Kayyy... Yeeeeah~ Miss, you just killed me but I won't tell you that you did because you'd just bust a laughter and wake your neighbors as well. Is it that predictable? Come on!

Am I THAAT predictable now? Or should I interpret it differently?

Does that mean that I'm in my own right to be wary of girls because I think that most of them are too immature to look for true commitment? I know, for sure, that some women are just willing to "have fun" with their lives. This doesn't necessarily mean that their whole day is about *insert Japanese accent and a yelling speaker* maaaake outo! I just mean by here that they give me the impression that they don't give a damn about the future or are too immature to care. Sadly, most women I've heard of are like that. Does it mean that most women in the world are like that or just that I'm in a bad geographical position no matter where I go?

Anyway, it wouldn't be right to assume that all women are like that. But anyway, this friend of mine I talked to, today, doesn't fall into that category. (Thank God)

All I want to tell you all, women (aka men's nightmares because you inhabit our minds - I love-and-hate y'all for that reason), is that you must know that when you have an 'intuition', it's not that intuitive. We don't need to shove the words into your minds for you to shape 'intuition' or 'gut feeling' into 'statement'. Even when you don't know a person and you say they might be nice, you might be unconsciously reading their body language in different situations - as well as their facial expressions.

Post Scriptum
  • Her, after a loooong moment of silence from my side: What are you doing?
  • Me: I'm writing a blog.
  • Her: What's the topic?
  • Me: Part of this conversation, that is.
  • Her: What part?
  • Me: The personal part.
  • Her: Oh! So you're starting your quest!
  • Me, in a "I don't want to believe you're thinking of me that way": What quest...
  • Her: You know what I'm talking about.
The point is... WHAD-DA - WHAD-DA - F*bleeep*K was THAAT! Not to arrange anything, I don't even know what assumption she was making -- rather, I just didn't get the confirmation.
Anyway, my assumption is that she thinks I am starting a quest to find a woman... through blogging.
That's just outright silly.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Wrecked ship report - New Blogger entry

Hello everyone.

Before anybody reads further, if you are uninterested in reading about an unknown person sitting behind their desk, typing words in a rather poor English, feel free to do whatever you want to do, I won't deny you from reading anytime.

I hope that my words would be of any use to anybody, though that would be an unlikely fact.
Yes, this blog is mainly a way to externalize the daily frustrations and upsets of a 20-year-old lambda person. Do expect from time to time some piece of advice that I wouldn't apply, or anything of the sort that could cheer anybody but myself.

In case you didn't read the title, it is "Shipwreck crossroads". It's just the image of my mindstate as of now. I am only 20, but I consider that my life is vain. Let me tell you in advance: Any attempt to "turn me into an religious person" will fail since I am not going to change faith - thank you very much.

Too many matters have made me sink into sorrow and sadness; nothing new, I have always been sad by nature. The only times I have hope are when I glance at the orange leather ball in my small room. That hope, though, is growing thinner on a daily basis. You might notice that I don't let it appear very much since I also have some heavy weaponry such as 'sarcasm' and 'irony'... to name a few.

This blog is here to allow me to share every bit of feelings I have, as well as just put what goes on in my head, regardless of its nature. You don't need to give any piece of advice or to insert criticism for the sake of criticism. Taken from the blog "Mark and Angel hack life" is an excrept that you'd better keep in mind if you want to motivate me or anything...

There are two methods for inspiring positive change in our youth. The first is to ask them to look in the mirror and see the absolute worst of themselves, and hope that they have enough self-confidence to make a change. The second is to ask them to look in the mirror and see the absolute best of themselves, which gives them the self-confidence needed to make a change.